Fish In A Barrel
by Grim Piggles
Summary: A series of Rango drabbles following the events of my previous story, 'Awake and Alive'. Let's see what else we can throw at the good citizens of Dirt this time around


**Well…it's only been like four years since I said I might do random oneshots in some semi-sequel to my…surprisingly popular story, Awake & Alive… I suppose I'll see how this goes before deciding to continue it. I know I said I'd probably rewrite the original, and there's a lot of things I would LOVE to change and make better…but, I don't think it's worth the effort. Let's just hope these make up for it. And are way better than my bullshit from past years… Just a warning, these might not always be QUITE as long as the chapters from Awake and Alive, but, hey…that's why they're called drabbles, eh? And, technically, these might even be longer than actual drabbles, so…can't get on my ass for that. ;)**

* * *

Holding the pistol she had been given as best as she could in her tail, Adina drew back slightly and held it away from her a bit as she eyed it warily. She didn't particularly like firearms, and the other animals from her forest had never used them. They preferred the older, more…"messier" methods of fighting their battles, wielding mostly melee weapons and such. She knew of guns mostly from both humans and the stories she had been told by her Uncle Dugar. Well, he wasn't technically her uncle, but a friend of her father's, really. "Jacob…enlighten me again… Why exactly are we doing this…?"

Rolling his eyes, the massive rattler gave a grunt as he carefully nudged the gun closer to her again. "Now, don't be holdin' it like it's some damn… _skunk_ … It's got a kick to it, but the only end you need to worry about ain't even pointed in yer direction. And, if ya plan on stayin' in this desert, yer gonna eventually need more than yer tail and teeth to get ya out of a fix." He shifted and moved behind her, shoving his nose into the back of her neck. "Straighten up that spine, girl. I'm teachin' ya to shoot."

"I'm not a killer, Jake."

"Tell that to them eagles ya put down." He smirked, near grinning at the heavy look he received in turn. "I ain't teachin' ya to be a _killer_ , woman, I'm teachin' ya to shoot a goddamned gun." He smacked her tail up lightly so she held the pistol a tad higher. His head came down next to her own as he guided her tail a bit, pointing her aim towards a sign hanging off a nearby building. The painted words on the sign had long since chipped away, and the wood itself seemed to be rotting. No one would miss it, he figured. Not that he really cared either way. "Alright…try to hit that there sign."

Taking in a slow breath, the black racer nodded slightly, barely resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Honestly, there was little sense in even trying to argue with that serpentine devil sometimes… Her grip on the pistol was…tense, to say the least, but never quite heavy enough to pull the trigger accidentally. She could feel the gun shaking a bit, or…perhaps that was mostly her tail. She did her best to aim, but she made no moves to shoot just yet. After a near agonizingly long thirty seconds, she lowered the pistol and said dryly as she offered him an impassive look. "This is stupid…"

"Awh, for the love of… Just shoot the damn gun already! Nothin' bad's gonna happen!" He snarled, his tail giving a few janky rattles as his patience began to grow thin.

She scoffed, almost poutily, before looking forward once more as she shifted. "Fine, fine…" She mumbled something to herself silently as she lifted the pistol once more, though she almost dropped it when Jake jammed the barrel of his gun into her side. "Hey!"

"I heard that…" He growled.

"I didn't say anything…" She lied, not really caring at this point whether he believed her or not. Ignoring any further input from the larger serpent beside her, she took aim once more, before finally pulling the trigger. The sound was worse than a firecracker, and the volume alone was enough to make her flinch. She blinked lightly and looked towards the sign, raising a brow curiously.

Not a mark on it…

She sighed heavily before sending Jake another look when he began to chuckle beside her.

"I seen old biddies with better aim than that…" He grinned, not even trying to hide his amusement, even when Adina shoved him roughly in the side. "Maybe we should just sit ya in front of a barn, though with yer luck, ya'd probably miss that, too." He barked out a laugh.

The black racer growled a bit, giving him another shove, though being a tad smaller than he was, she barely moved him an inch. "Oh, like you were never bad at this the first time around… " She slumped slightly and sighed once more, clearly irate as she raised the pistol again, took aim, and fired.

Still nothing.

"This turned out to be more interestin' than I was first anticipatin' it to be." Jake snorted, at least finding some entertainment in how bad she was at this. Though, his remarks only seemed to fill her with more determination.

 _ **Bang!**_

"Try again, babygirl…"

 _ **Bang!**_

"I think ya were a bit closer to it that time."

 _ **Bang! Bang!**_

"You're gonna run out of bullets at this rate…"

Lowering the pistol, Adina turned her head towards him sharply, giving him a warning look. "Jacob, if you don't knock it off with the comments…"

"I'll knock it off with the comments once ya hit somethin', how 'bout that? Come on now, don't quit on me. We'll sit out here all night if we have to, now shoot the damn pistol again!"

" _Alright!_ Okay, tough guy, you want me to shoot the gun? I'll shoot the damn gun." She growled, taking aim one final time at the sign, and firing off her last bullet with a bang. She raised her brows high when the metal beam holding the sign gave off a spark, barely able to keep up with it as the bullet ricocheted off of several other objects as well. She ducked a bit on instinct when said bullet whizzed over both their heads, snapping the ties of a much newer looking sign…a much _heavier_ looking sign…above them.

Dumbfounded, the only thing Adina could do was stare as the newer sign fell and broke into several pieces over Jake's head, the massive Viper snarling in both surprise and pain as his neck was jerked downward slightly.

Several long seconds passed before the pistol slowly slipped from the black racer's grip towards the ground, her eyes widening further as her jaw dropped a bit. Covering her mouth slightly with her tail, she drew in a long, exaggerated gasp before finally beginning to offer, "I am _soo_ sorry… I am _so sorry!_ " She forced herself into a brief silence as the second apology ended with a laugh that she just couldn't keep down. She cringed as he shook his head with a growl and began to straighten, though her amusement was only continuing to grow. "I am _**so sorry!**_ " She repeated a third time, in a more serious tone. "I was only trying to hit the sign!"

"Ya hit the damn sign alright!" He snarled, brushing along the top of his hat gingerly with his tail before wincing as he straightened it.

"I am so sorry, please…" She shifted just a hair closer, near crooning in sincerity as she brushed his cheek briefly with her tail. "I am so sorry…" It wasn't five seconds after that, however, that she began to giggle and laugh uncontrollably. "I am so sorry!"

Cocking a brow high at her amusement, a deep, throaty rumble rose up from his chest as he scowled slightly, using the time that she took laughing to draw himself up to his full height, which was still several heads above her own. His tail began to rattle once more as a quiet, dangerous hiss left him. This seemed to get her attention as she drew silent once more, her brows raising as his shadow practically engulfed her as all hints of hilarity left her features. He stared her down for a good minute or so, his eyes burning into her own before he suddenly leaned forward. Four simple words rolled off his tongue;

"Ya got three seconds…"

* * *

Further down the road, the good sheriff of the town briskly walked through the door of the jailhouse into the hot, dry sun, a satisfied grin on his face as he placed his hands on his hips. Behind him, Wounded Bird hobbled out of the building as well, a stack of freshly sorted Wanted posters and other important documents held in his wings. "Ain't nothin' like a good day's work to keep ya occupied on a scorcher like this, eh, deputy?" Rango asked.

Wounded Bird remained otherwise silent, almost sending the chameleon a dirty look, as the crow had done most of the sorting since he was actually _familiar_ with over half of the information in his wings. However, before he could roll his eyes up towards the sky, both he and the chameleon were near knocked off their feet as a long, black blur shot right past them, an even larger, browner blur following suit, right on her tail. The crow's eyes widened as the documents in his hand got caught with the wind, and an explosion of papers began to rain down on the sheriff and himself. The two blinked stupidly as they stared after the slithery snakes in a daze.

Finally, Rango looked down at his feet, staring at the, once again, scrambled and mixed up documents strewn along the dusty ground. He itched his head lightly before letting out a sigh, snapping his fingers in frustration. "Well, ain't that somethin'…" He turned to his deputy and shook his head a bit. "Looks like them celebratory drinks are gonna have to wait a bit longer, eh, Wounded?"

Wounded Bird was silent for a time as he, too, stared down at the documents in the dirt. However, at Rango's words, he glanced up and offered the chameleon a heavy look, grunting after another long moment, "You do it… Off duty for the day."


End file.
